I’m a different person.
I’m not the person I was last year. I’m not even the person I was last week. I’m new.
The girl who wanted so much to date Andrew (Andrew!), the girl so capricious and impulsive she had to enforce a Prohibition, the girl that went angry and embittered to a wedding on October 11th? Who WAS that?!?
I admit, I do bear a resemblance to her. But our similarities are fleeting and shallow; they’re expressions we simply wear the same way. It’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, except she’s the emotionless pod person and I am Becky. I woke up and I’m Becky! Alive and scared and in love! I’ve been reverse body snatched!
(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay great happening illimatably earth)
And here in this new world there’s Michael.
And yes! I know everything of all the reasons there “shouldn’t” be Michael! I know of the complications – how neither one of us has a certain future or any money, how difficult long distance is, etc. I know, too well, the width and depth of the Pacific. And maybe down the road, in a month or two months from now, I will rue those complications and groan with how frustrating and difficult they make it all.
But today? I just can’t.
Today I don’t care. Today I couldn’t care less. Today those things make me laugh, in a vague and amused way.
Today I want to run the road, banging on car hoods and screaming, “You’re next!”
(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)