In case of A GIANT SHARK

My parents came to visit a couple weeks ago and I started to talk to them, really talk to them, for the first time in years. 

It was hard.  I was unkind, I think, because we talked about the truth.  The truth of what it was like for us kids growing up.  The truth about some family secrets, things that been swept under rugs my entire life, old rifts in my parents marriage that have become exposed in recent years.  When I brought up these topics, I was a little angry, and I was a little cruel.  I’ve grown tired of the bullshit.  And, in the moment, I felt like it was useless to pretend otherwise.

My parents bore it well.  They weren’t angry at my disrespect.  They bravely answered my questions and treated me like an adult.  To tell the truth, I think I simply made them a little sad.  Because I was so obsessed with speaking the truth that I forgot something important.

I forgot that my parents are people.

Or, more accurately, I hadn’t fully realized it until I saw all these illusions torn to shreds in my hands.  I went on a crusade to rip them apart, imagining this facade as a wall that would require a sledgehammer to destroy.  But I found that it was so fragile, thin and frail as a spider web. 

There’s this scene in Jaws.  This giant shark has already killed two people and Chief Brody feels responsible.  He’s the sheriff in this town and people are dying.  Children are dying.  And he's weak, overmatched, insecure, unprepared to face down this incredible evil.  So he’s sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands and then he looks over…and there’s his son.  Sitting with his little head in his little hands.  Imitating his father.

So Brody lowers his hands.  And so does he son.  Then Brody makes a face.  And so does his son.  And then Brody says, “Give us a kiss.”

And his son says, “Why?”

And Brody replies, “Because I need it.”

Thanks, Spielberg, for the best picture I’ve ever seen of parenthood and human frailty. 

I think every parent must be Chief Brody on some level.  They're just people.  They're weak, overmatched, insecure, unprepared.  And the world a dangerous place, full of incredible evil.  For all they know, there's a giant shark out there!

And no one expects children to imitate their parents forever.  No one expects you to always just give your parents a kiss and run to bed. 

But they do need it. 

So even when you grow up and grow tired of the bullshit, that's something to remember.